6 CHANGES IN 6 WEEKS

The sun has finally decided to show itself again and I'm sitting at my desk trying to get myself organised and ready for the next few weeks I gloriously have off work.

Now the past week started off on a bit of wobble due to an unexpected Saturday night out which I have little recollection of (Thanks to apparently being the unlucky one during a few too many drinking games) but I have big plans for the next 6 weeks; I have 6 changes I'm hoping to make and I thought writing them down and putting them out there would give me a good old kick up the bum as to be quite honest I'm your normal 20-something 'say I'll do something and never get round to it-er' and some of these are really simple. I literally just need to tell myself to stop being a willy and JUST - DO - IT. So without further a do lets jump right into it and get scrolling through my 6 goals in 6 weeks.

GET FITTER

This one is literally self-motivation isn't it? Which surprisingly I can be quite good at, I have the '7 Minute Workout For Women' app and I honestly prefer doing these than join a gym. I just really don't want to pay money to a gym when I have a few bits of equipment at home. I am currently wincing though as after doing a few of the workouts I found it near impossible to walk; shows my fitness levels but hey, that's why it's on here. I have the gym gear, I have a few weights, a resistance band and yoga mat. I've seen results from doing my home workouts before just this time round I want to keep it up and I'm sure once the leg pain stops I'll have this. 
It does of course also include healthy eating choices which again I don't have a huge problem with but I have such a weakness for any kind of baked good that I'm teaching myself to control that. I'm sure it'll come hand in hand though and the best motivation is seeing the results right? So that's my aim.

BECOME CLOSER TO FINDING A NEW JOB / MOVING CITY

This is the biggy, in my opinion. Don't get me wrong I love my job (If you don't know I am a Individual Needs Assistant at a primary school) I just can't afford to work on a teaching salary and really want to pursue my love of fashion. It's tricky though because whenever people ask what it is I actually want to do I falter; I don't actually 100% know to be honest. I'd love to try styling, I'd love to try a bit of journalism, maybe a bit of PR, maybe even events. I've just always had a love for fashion and stupidly never went to University for it as I felt intimidated and under educated which has left me stuck here and with no real path to follow. Fashion Workie though is a great website which has a range of jobs you can apply for in any field, so that's what I will be doing. Applying for anything that takes my fancy and just have everything crossed that someone wants to take a chance on me. 

If anyone has any advice on this area though, please message me! Even if that involve advice about potentially going back to education, I'm open to anything and everything.

The reason that moving city is also under this section is because jobs I've been looking at are largely based in either London or Manchester. With London of course I could still stay in my hometown and commute, but who knows if I got a permanent job there I'd consider moving; and as for Manchester well that's just a no brainer as I wouldn't be able to commute but after my first visit earlier this year I fell in love with the city so I am more than happy / willingly to move up north.

START TO LEARN TO DRIVE

I don't feel I need to go into this one too much. Pretty explanatory; I'm 23 years old, I don't drive and nearly all my friends / family do or are learning too and eventually I'll need to as well. It's all well and good living where I do as it's not really a necessity but it's become a little tricker as of late due to getting places as I either have to leave my place heaps early to jump on a bus and still turn up late to places or very cheekily ask someone to come out of their way and pick me up, which really isn't fair. What I have to think is actually it'll benefit me heaps. I want to be able to just leave and drive nowhere for no reason whenever I want. I also want to drive and treat my friends so they don't have to designated driver. I just need to get over this fear I have of actually being in-control of a vehicle. By the end of this 6 weeks I will have either got my first lesson booked or already had my first lesson.



READ BOOKS MORE

Plain and simple, I don't read enough. I've started and currently reading 'Men Without Women' by Murakami which is good. It's just a collection of short stories about men who get through life more or less alone. I was thinking of maybe every now and then writing a post about books that I've read; only if I've really actually enjoyed them mind you. I am enjoying my current read but I picked up two new books and I'm itching to read those more so thinking of maybe sacking this off and rejoining it later. My aim is to try and make myself come off all electrical devices and read at least a chapter or to the next break in my book before bed. 

SOBRIETY

Long story short. I have not had the best experiences drinking as of late. Last weekend (not the one just gone) being my final point. Alcohol just doesn't seem to be agreeing with me and why I put myself through it I do not know; I love the taste which is a pain but I don't like how it makes me feel / act and sometimes even after just one medium glass of wine I feel an effect. So, for now I have decided I'm going to be cautious and cut down on the drink I consume, because it's at a point where I think about when I'm going to have my next drink, I'll drink when no one else is or I've been having 2 - 4 glasses of whatever is in my house every night; it's just not okay. Cutting down on the amount of alcohol doesn't mean I'm going to stop going out, it just means I'm going to go out but be able to be in control of myself and be fully present the whole time. Plus this will also help with the whole 'get fitter' part as people seem to see amazing health benefits when getting down / giving alcohol up, let's just see how well I can do this; even if I just don't drink as much and only have few on special occasions for me that'll be a huge improvement. I just don't need to get bladdered or have a drink at any given opportunity. Hand me over the alcohol free alternatives or lime and soda!

DIVE HEAD FIRST INTO INSTAGRAMMING / BLOGGING

I was thinking 'how to header this section?' and I just thought I'd say it how it is. Yes, I instagram regularly just not as much as I'd like and ideally I want to 'officially relaunch' my blog come September. Currently I can do all of this and so far I've been out nearly every single day shooting content but I am also very picky and want it all to be of the highest quality and exactly what I picture in my head but when it comes to it I usually have a quick glance and what I've got and move on. I'm not ballsy enough to say 'actually please can you just get down, lie on your back and shoot my pictures.'
Of course, I wouldn't say it quite like that haha, but I have a vision and I want to try everything possible to get it, I'm always willing to go all out and try whatever I can to get what others like so maybe I just need to be a bit more ballsy and ask / direct and really take my time. I also do want to maybe look into working with photographers but I know this will also involve work on my confidence because as soon as a camera is out I forget how to pose and end up just doing the same thing for about 10 minutes.
Relaunching the blog should be fun also, 'ey? I want to start writing more posts like this; as well as fashion ones including detailed jewellery posts. Lifestyle posts documenting my travels and places I've visited. I think how I'm going to go about it is; I'm going to write for me as if no one else is reading this (which I doubt right now anyone will), as if it's like a log / diary for me. I want to venture into film too as I love the style and how the images come out. I keep eyeing up Olympus Mju II but I just don't know which one, as some are with zoom on different levels or no zoom at all, so all advice below please!
Lastly on this subject if anyone has any advice on moving from Blogger to Wordpress then leave a comment below as that is something I'd really like to do.




So that's my 6 changes. I know not everyone gets 6 weeks off work but it's summer, why not just make some changes from now? I'd be interested in knowing if you're going to make changes or if you already have some in place, my aim is to just see where I am come September time.

Dress is from Pretty Little Thing 

Trainers are Superga

Mini fang necklace is Missoma London

Arabic name necklace is Anna Lou of London

Lucky coin necklace is Estella Bartlett

Leave me a comment below if you are making changes or are now thinking about it. If you have any questions about my changes too I'm happy to answer them. xx

HOLIDAY TIME x PRETTY LITTLE THING


It feels like summer is finally here and the summer fashion is in full swing, so what better way to start then with a holiday inspired post?! I was very luckily to be given to opportunity to pick a few outfits / pieces from PrettyLittleThing's holiday shop and it couldn't have come at a better time when I'd been thinking about doing a full style overhaul so I could really start understanding the kind of look / vibe I really want.

Starting with my first look, I went for this gorgeous white cotton button detail puff sleeve shirt. I'm absolutely obsessed with button detailing on clothes at the moment so this was a no brainer when I saw it. The sleeves add a little something something also making me feel slightly like I'm in medieval princess times, I paired with so knitted culotte style trousers for a casual understated look, but this top also comes with a co-ordinating skirt which I am desperate to get to my mitts on but currently it's out of stock so I'll be keeping the tab open and refreshing daily hoping it comes back soon.

As soon as a saw a pair of paperbag waist shorts I knew I had to get a pair. I've seen them around a fair bit via Pinterest and various Instagrammers and loved how they look. I have various ways I'd like to style them but shown below I'd just thrown a basic knitted style vest on and added some layered necklaces. I cannot wait to also pair these with an oversized white shirt or even a camel or gingham one. I also think this would be lovely with a jumper tucked in for when it cools down in the evening.

Lastly, what's a holiday haul without sandals and swimmers right? I love a bandeau style bikini and adding a bow detail and polka dots made this bikini irresistible, I would recommend if you, like me need it in your life, sizing up just to achieve that perfect fit. I also think statement shoes can pull together any look and I love these western style sliders as they are understated yet draw the eye to them, these are definitely going to be a firm piece in my wardrobe this summer.


so, Those were just a few pieces I picked from pretty little things holiday section and since then i've been eyeing it up nearly everyday and i'm think of making a little order myself to build on my summer wardrobe as they really have some great pieces and at great prices you won't be breaking the bank!

I hope you enjoyed my little haul and if you do purchase anything yourself from the holiday shop, i'd love to see / hear what you got!



ON BEING THE LEFT BEHIND FRIEND



Social Loneliness. It's a funny one but something I think a lot of people feel. My friends are solid and I know that; but I slightly feel like the forgotten friend. 

With that being said, let me explain (with a lot of jumping around from thought tracks so bare with me) why I feel like this.

I live the furthest out from all of my friends and being silly I haven't learnt to drive yet, so whenever plans are made I have to ask if anyone is able to pick me up, because everyone else is always getting in each others cars and turning up together so I don't want to be left out and turn up alone, but this means they are usually going back on themselves to get me; making me feel like a huge pain and this has began to cause me HUGE anxiety and feeling like my friends get frustrated with me.

I did make the decision to just take myself away for a while and in all honesty I have felt like such a heavy weight has disappeared. I no longer constantly worry things are being planned without me and I don't feel like I constantly need to message people to ask if anything has been planned, then feeling like I've invited myself and intruded. Don't get me wrong I do feel down when I see on social media and things that they've gone out and done things I used to look forward to doing. I just don't know how I can find that balance of putting myself out there again but also not going back to that place of worry. I want to be that person I was when I came back from Australia. Always saying yes to going out, up for anything and messaging my best friend without seconding guessing myself and then talking myself out of sending a message althogether.

I want to show them I am still that person but I don't get the opportunity too or my anxiety talks me out of going to see them at all. It's also not their fault, they don't know I feel this way but I also don't feel I could talk to them about it because I don't really see serious chats being a thing.


I think social loneliness is the best way to describe it because I'm never really by myself. I go out whenever I can and don't stay at home ever. Just sometimes when I am out I'm more of a spectator rather than a participator and I know this because I'm always worrying I'm not up to date with the latest thing that's funny or I'll have played scenarios in my head where I'll talk to someone but actually have nothing to say so we are just sat in awkward silence and that's with anyone I'm going to meet up with, be that the girls I've met through blogging and social media or friends I've known for years. I feel like it cripples me and I don't know how to deal with it. I probably come across as rude or just downright boring when people meet me in real life because I don't really say anything or say the wrong thing through pure panic. 

I know I probably could message my friends and ask if anyone is up for meeting but from past experiences of being rejected it's put me off and my being a bit more reclusive than I used to be state has well and truly set in. I'm just wondering if anyone has any advice on how to overcome it? or if you're going through it yourself and need someone to cheer you up and be pal, I'm here.Last note: guys, be kind to your left behind friends. There may be more behind them becoming back-seaters than you realise. They may just need a bit of help.



JO MALONE | A TRIP TO THE ENGLISH FIELDS



Back in February I was very lucky to be invited along to an afternoon at Jo Malone by the lovely Katie Kirk to check out their new limited edition English Fields collection. When we arrived we were greeted with drinks of our choice, a lovely glass of grapefruit and Prosecco or a fruit juice, and some rather tasty fruit flapjacks and chocolate corn cobs which were made by the Wild Mint CafĂ© which were to die for. Who doesn't love a glass of Prosecco and sweet treats? I know I can't say no.


SO WHAT DID WE GET UP TOO?

We all gathered around to be introduced to the scents themselves, this is where we were introduced to all 5 new colognes and about all the notes in each of them which helped us decide which one we thought would suit us individually. I went for Primrose and Rye and have included the description Jo Malone have written below. It was a really great talk and I felt I learnt; not only about the new colognes but also about Jo Malone as the brand, I was left feeling like the company always put their customers first and care what they'd want from the brand.

After the talk we went our own ways to either experience the complimentary Jo Malone hand and arm massage; which if you don't know is offered to all customers to help discover maybe a new fragrance and even maybe a combination of any of their current favourite scents. Or treated by Bobbi Brown to learn about tips and tricks when applying makeup or even to try a new look, I asked if I could be shown a better way to contour as I do try every day but find it's never just right; It's not the chiselled cheek bones, full on glow look I so desperately want to learn to achieve.
More gorgeous food was brought out for us which we all swiftly devoured and we finished off with a gift wrapping class as we were kindly gifted a few goodies in our own personalised gift boxes and ceramic tags with our initials on - INCREDIBLE.






Primrose & Rye Cologne

Rolling fields dotted with primroses. Swaying softly on a spring breeze. Warmed by golden corn. Brightened with mimosa. On an addictive base of rye and vanilla. Filled with sunshine. Vivid. Glowing. Addictive.




THE COMBINATION OF MY CHOICE

I knew for my combination I wanted to include one of the colognes from the cologne intense range as I love Primrose and Rye but I needed to add something a bit more beefy to it. I love a strong scent and knowing how much I love Tuberose it was a no brainer for which one I went for. Once applied the lovely lady who did my service commented how well they really went together and we were both quite shocked but so pleased. I could not stop smelling myself and thankfully my cardigan has retained the smell pretty well.


FINAL NOTES ON ENGLISH FIELDS

These colognes aren't going to be around for long and once sold out thats it so I really recommend if you can get to your nearest store to do so even if it is just for a cheeky whiff of them and to try your own combination. They are super dreamy and well worth checking out.


THIS IS FOR ME


This post has been a long way, deleted, rewritten, deleted again and then rewritten again. It has been incredibly hard for me to process, put into words all the things and feelings I have struggled / gone through over the past few months. I feel I've been on a downward spiral for a long time, I've lost confidence / feelings and most importantly myself.. but I'm finally feeling like I want to fight again.

You only have one life and you need to live it fully and not let things that happen define or change you. 

I'm not going into detail but I feel I needed to write something down to help myself as sometimes seeing it in front of you makes things clearer. I've let anxieties since then, take over and effect every aspect of my life, from my social life to my online presence and I've hated the person I've become, scared and never feeling 100% excited about anything, while trying to hide it from everyone and getting on as if nothing has happened. I know at the best of the times I haven't done so well at this but I'm learning to process my feelings. Things like exercise have really been helping and it's helping me to relax and just shut my mind off. I've also done some silly things like change my hair thinking it would help and now looking back on it, it's just made me become less of the person I was and who I want to be again.

I have some great friends, I've relied on them heavily and I will never be able to repay them for their kindness and understanding even if I exploded or disappeared for a while. Even when I didn't understand my own thoughts, felt questioned and questioned myself. They've been here and they are my own superheroes. "Not all superheroes wear capes."

I'm still working on myself and sometimes I feel like I've failed miserably, but I want to make 2018 one hell of a year. Life is not something we just need to get through.. we need to live the best we can and I want to look forward to every single day and be full of happiness. I'm trying to become sure of myself again and trying to be stronger. I want to be the me before I went to Australia, while I was in Australia and when I was back over summer. I know I can be that person again. I hope I can be that person again.

I know this isn't the clearest post but in a way I haven't written this for anyone but myself, so I really hope you understand and respect that.